5 Feet of Fury

Mystery solved: Lousy IKEA furniture really a cry for help — from behind the Iron Curtain!

All those holes that didn’t match up?

They spelled out “S.O.S”!

Maybe the prisoners figured if they kept screwing up long enough throwing an Allen wrench in the works, as it were — somebody would come and investigate.

No?

OK, The Pueblo it ain’t, but still…

The controversial contract to use Cuban prison labor to build Ikea furniture was part of a broader deal between companies run by the Cuban and East German security services that also involved Cuban antiques, cigars and guns, according to a researcher in Berlin.

The deal blossomed into scandal last week after a German newspaper reported that an Ikea subsidiary in Berlin and an East German company had contracted for Cuban prison labor to build 45,000 tables and 4,000 sofa groupings in 1987.