5 Feet of Fury

Nerd Prom 2012: We’re all pretty jealous of Chris Simms around here this morning (video)

RELATED: Why 911 remains a joke

PLUS: George Jonas writes:

Currently, prosecutors are making fools of themselves over a citizen named Ian Thomson, whose warning shots scared away three men trying to firebomb his farm house near Port Colborne, Ont. He fired in the air; the assailants fled, and no one was hurt except the feelings of the authorities.

The householder, a licensed gun owner and firearms instructor, broke no law. Still, miffed by a citizen’s display of self-reliance, the wounded minions of the state hauled him into court for — guess what? — the unsafe storage of firearms.

There’s a Kafkesque provision in the Criminal Code that makes it unlawful for gun owners to store their ammunition in the same hemisphere as their weapons — certainly not close enough for a gun to be of any but decorative use. The mere fact Mr. Thomson had time to fire indicated to the prosecutor he must have broken the law. Anyone who obeys, couldn’t have. Gotcha!

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So the takeaway is:

DON’T follow the Criminal Code law about keeping your ammo and firearms separately, cuz you’ll a) be an unprepared sitting duck (which was always the case) and b) now we know that you’ll get charged no matter what you do, so f*** it.

Lesson learned.