5 Feet of Fury

‘Keith Moon has hurtled out of the grave driving a Panzer tank …’

to ask what this Frankie Cocozza nonsense is about, it emerged last night.

The formerly dead lunatic and actual musician hastily convened a press conference to re-establish exactly what the fuck being in the music industry is meant to involve.

“While I was in Hell yesterday, fornicating with a crackhead goat lizard while having a sabre fight with Oliver Reed, I heard somebody mention a singer had been sacked for wayward behaviour.

“Considering I managed to keep my job in The Who despite being wanted for acts of public indecency with a piece of fruit in thirty-six countries I was naturally intrigued.

“However, on further investigation I am sorely disappointed to say the least.”

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ALSO? This is actually true…