5 Feet of Fury

More Canadians know what anal beads are than DNA?

And here I’ve been mocking the OJ jury all this time.

Oh, awesome:

Internal documents show the Bank of Canada fretted that Canadians would find all kinds of unintended images on the new bills. So the bank used focus groups to spot “potential controversies.”

Every focus group thought they saw religious iconography on the face of the Peace Tower clock.

“It was often described as ‘The Star of David.’ Others referred to it as a ‘pagan’ or ‘religious’ symbol,” the document says.

“This evoked a response that suggested that the depiction of religious icons on Canadian bank notes was strongly resisted.”

If you ever wondered who exactly paid to see both National Treasure movies, now you know:

The shape of Newfoundland and Labrador was often mistaken for other forms, including a bird, Pinocchio and a war plane.

Others thought Inuktitut writing on the bill, which translates to the word “Arctic,” was some kind of secret code or a set of mysterious symbols.

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While reading this article, try not to think about how all these people are allowed to vote.

Instead, keep repeating to yourself:

“9/11 Truthers,” “9/11 Truthers”…