Asshole O’Bryan slipped the poison into a bunch of Pixy Stix, which he then stapled shut. Yes, we said a bunch — one just wouldn’t do, because following some strange logic accessible to only the criminally insane, Shitbricks O’Bryan decided to poison every child his son went trick-or-treating with. Through either a miracle or, more likely, the fact that Pixy Stix suck balls, none of the other kids were harmed. O’Bryan was caught, found guilty and executed, but the case was widely publicized and so the damage had already been done.
And that is how even now, close to 40 years later, a trick-or-treater has to write off every piece of candy with a hole in the wrapper.
