All that dogged perseverance of keeping young and staying beautiful — and your 33-year-old dolt of a toyboy husband, Ashton Kutcher, still cheats on you with a hot blonde bimbette wearing too much make up who is young enough to be your daughter.
While struggling to understand the male mind, Jan provides us with an accidental peek into the female one, here:
Perhaps the only thing left to do is get her first husband Bruce Willis to climb through the air conditioning ducts in Kutcher’s hotel room and give him a sound, Die Hard-type thrashing.
Dear Jan Moir:
I was confused too. It was Hugh Grant and that homely hooker who had me baffled.
Luckily, we’ve got Dennis Prager over here…
Female readers will also have noted that Moore’s current Twitter avatar is an astonishingly unflattering snapshot of her prepubescent self, with glasses and heavy bangs, that she has not only held onto after all these years but was obviously able to put her hands to with relative speed.
That’s what she looks like in her mind’s eye right now.
In fact, she probably always has.
And note the quote about determining what caused this to happen by “studying your own failings.”
Mirror, mirror…
