5 Feet of Fury

Andrew Lawton makes the mistake of leaving the house

Andrew Lawton tries to have fun on the weekend…

I held the aluminum foil wrapper that my pita came in, quite confused as to where it should go. There may have been some food residual in there, so it could have been a “Compostable.” But, the “Recyclables” sign specifically said that aluminum should go in there. That said, it felt like I was holding “Landfill”. I took a fearful gulp, and cautiously dropped it in the blue recycling can on the left.

Before I could so much as turn around, the trash woman — in a tone more akin to a headmistress at a boarding school — said, “Excuse me, what was that?” I should have responded with “Your personality,” but the resultant conversation was more amusing anyway.

Me: Aluminum foil. The sign on the can said aluminum went in there.
Her: Not foil. You knew that though, didn’t you?
Me: Clearly not.
Her: Well, you should have.