5 Feet of Fury

Andrew Sullivan, is that you?

Heh:

Dear Abby,

There’s this woman in my life I just can’t stand. I first met her a couple of years ago. A lot of people seemed to like her, but not me. I know she’s evil. For one thing, she’s got a baby that everybody says is hers, but I’m sure it isn’t. I don’t have any evidence to prove that, but my gut tells me I’m right, so I’m going to keep searching until I prove everybody wrong.

(Oh, and by the way, me and my friends have had some real laughs at that retard baby of hers but nobody seems to be able to take a joke!) Same goes for when I laugh at her other disgusting children.  What’s the problem?  People are so sensitive!

So here’s my problem: I’ve been following her around wherever she goes and (get this) she doesn’t even want to talk to me…