5 Feet of Fury

Gene Simmons for Prime Minister of Israel

OK, so he voted for Obama. He apologized, didn’t he?

Come on — could he be any worse than some of the knobs Israel’s had in office before?

The man was a branding genius before “branding” was even a thing; ditto for “rabid fandom”; (more or less) speaks four languages; and has two surprisingly well behaved and intelligent offspring, for a rock star who “married” a Playboy centerfold.

(Of course, Simmons also happens to be the rare rock star who has never smoked, used drugs or had more than a sip of alcohol. It doesn’t hurt that he’s Jewish, and his wife is a Canadian and no dummy either. So they’re atypical show biz types: average or above IQs, with no brain damage.)

Gene Simmons says musicians who boycott Israel are idiots:

The countries they should be boycotting are the same countries that the populations are rebelling,” he said. “People long to be free … And they sure as hell don’t want somebody who’s a ruler who hasn’t been elected by them.”

He recalled his father, a carpenter, taking his assault rifle and heading off to military service on weekends. He said his mother, a survivor of the Nazi Holocaust, taught him that “every day above ground is a good day.”

The family was “dirt poor,” scraping by on meager bread and milk rations available in what was then an underdeveloped country. He earned money by selling fruits he collected from cactuses.