“I’m A Feminist, But I Think I Want To Date A More Traditional Dude”
And it does all come down to sex, doesn’t it? How we feel outside the bedroom directly impacts how we feel inside the bedroom. It is no secret that I have a spanking fetish and prefer to be with sexually dominant men, that I get off on not being the aggressor and not being in charge. I was a gender studies student.
“I am well aware that ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ are constructions, but for the sake of conversation, let’s assume they do exist.“ (…)
The older I get, the more I feel as though I don’t just want that dynamic entwined in the bedsheets—I want it in day-to-day life.
As you can imagine, I feel a lot of guilt for wanting this. Is it OK for me to be a feminist who believes women are strong and powerful, but to also want to feel protected by a guy? Is it wrong for me to want to feel taken care of? Do I just think there’s still an equal balance of power but really I’m deluding myself? Aren’t I being a hypocrite?
When I parse this out intellectually—and I have spent a lot of time doing so over the years—I know that it’s not. I believe it can work. But I also think I’ll have to be really judicious about finding a guy whose on the same page as me. I don’t suspect it will be easy to find.
But surprisingly, it is easy to articulate.
We did grocery shopping together today. After we came out of the store I said I wanted coffee, I got a “oh that sounds good” and off we went. We went through McDonalds and got coffee and had a Filet-of-Fish each. (OMFG I HATE THAT JINGLE) I get a “this was a fabulous idea” from her. She’s made happy by this. We did not cover this reaction in my Sociology of the Family course in college. Yeah… I have a degree in being non-dominant towards women. Waste of time and money. True story.
Speaking of such things… see, I told you:
The first thing that most girls notice in guys is what kind of shoes they are wearing.
