Why don’t women have waists anymore? (Except me?)

I (36-26-36) was just saying this the other day:

With her beady eyes, her hatchet jawline, her manly shoulders and ribcage, her total lack of hips and barrel-like physique, what horrors lurk underneath [the new Miss America’s] bikini?

And what has happened to the hourglass figure and narrow waists? Women naturally have narrow waists and small ribcages; these women have seemingly given up their feminine birthrights for brutish slabs of musculature on their midsections, giving them the physique of an overcooked bratwurst.