I am not above playing the flakey old lady card to get through security sharpish. I always pack my Hebrew textbook at the top of my hand luggage, and when the fierce young operative seizes it and asks: “Do you speak Hebrew?” I answer, in my rustic child’s voice: Ani ohev catule veh kelev! (“I love cats and dogs”.)
The effect is nothing short of miraculous, as the stern Semitic face breaks into a smile and a cry of whatever the Ivrit is for “Here, come and listen to this freak, you won’t believe it!” rings out across the El Al check-in area.
