Yeah, I can’t tell straight men from gays anymore, either, but you know what’s almost worse?

Over-ripe, pretentious, sophomoric and incoherent writing.

Believe me — I know exactly what happened here:

This chick got really drunk and read a whole bunch of Tom Wolfe essays at once, the way another kind of drunk would gulp down six cheeseburgers.

But instead of orange and brown barf coming up, out popped this essay.