I’m usually bad at this stuff, and hated my old boyfriend for going, “He did it,” less than 5 minutes into every tv show, and being right every time.
The only thing I ever guessed correctly was the time the CSI guys found a guy laying on railroad tracks. He had really retro facial hair, was anorexically skinny and had lousy teeth.
I said: “Civil war reenactor” and was right. Cuz they do that stuff.
But about this Cracked.com article:
My answer to just about every movie I see is basically, “So why don’t you just kill everybody?”
Like, I don’t get why, if the bigshots in District 9 knew there were functioning alien weapons in “Soweto”, why not just go get them years earlier?
Why do you need [SPOILER ALERT] one stupid white dude with an accidental alien arm who doesn’t want to kill people, when you’ve got a million real aliens who know how the weapons work. Just pay them giant amounts of cat food to turn mercenary for you, while threatening to kill their kids if they don’t.
And/or why not let those scary Nigerians kill the aliens? What do you care if they’re so annoying anyhow? Just tell World Opinion, “Look, you know how crazy those Africans are? They’re always killing huge swathes of people. What else is new? And those weren’t even people. Hey, isn’t there a new fake pandemic we should all be yacking about instead?”
Of course, as my late mother would always say: “But then there’d be no story.”
Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised by District 9, which is the first “new” movie I’ve watched in a while. I’d expected a two hour lecture on the evils of white colonialism. It’s nice to pretend that even South African blacks and whites would finally get along great together after they were invaded by annoying, good for nothing aliens, but we all know from real life that that never happens.
But anyhow, yeah: don’t you WANT Hitler to get his face melted off?
