Women shouldn’t be allowed to vote, drive or get business loans

Remember that woman who tweeted her miscarriage…?

I am in NYC with no money. This used to happen all the time. When my company was running out of money, I would go to San Diego to give a speech and stay at a four-star hotel and not have a cent. And no credit card, of course. I would fly first class, stash all the extra treats they offered, and eat them until I could charge room service to the organization I was speaking to.

I am an ace at traveling without any money, but I’m sick of it. I thought it would never happen again. After all, I have a company credit card.

But I think Ryan Healy canceled my card. Or put a hold on it. I think this is maybe because I charged a ton of garden supplies on the card last weekend. (…)

So I thought, maybe I should needlepoint to calm myself down now, so I don’t have outbursts on the phone. (…)

I stopped following the color pattern exactly by the time I was so addicted that I was needlepointing while getting a Brazilian. And by the time I was doing needlepoint in the board meeting…

Now I’m convinced I need beads for my needlepoint, and I’m actually super happy thinking of spending my days threading beads. The problem is that I don’t have any beads. (…)

But just because I am not able to charge beads while I’m in NYC with no money does not mean that I am out of good ideas. Don’t underestimate my workplace trends genius.