5 Feet of Fury

Canada sucks. Or: Leaving the house is always my first mistake

Nevertheless, yesterday I was forced to do so.

This meant listening to Toronto talk radio for an hour, one way and another hour back.

In that short time, this is what I learned:

Ontario has banned (Canadian) Dan Ackroyd’s (Canadian made) Crystal Head Vodka because it comes in a bottle shaped like a skull, and the skull is a symbol of death or something.

Not to be confused with the people who rallied there to demand the legalization of pot (a rally scheduled for noon but which I suspect actually took place around three, if at all), 300 people rallied at the Ontario Legislature to try to reverse the ban on mixed martial arts tournaments, which, apparently, “resemble human cock fighting” or something.

Pop vending machines will likely be banned on Toronto City property as of 2014:

“As a public policy maker, I apply the same rules as I apply in my house,” Councillor Joe Mihevc said. “We don’t allow pop. Period.”

Victoria Day fireworks are banned pretty much everywhere, or just very strongly discouraged.

You can’t drink booze in Banff this weekend, either.

Quebeckers, who normally support any opportunity to avoid work, don’t like the rest of us celebrating that yucky dead English queen. Keep working, Anglos! Those transfer payments don’t grow on trees!

What. A. Dump.

UPDATE: thanks to Ed Driscoll for the link. (He’s guest posting at Instapundit!)