5 Feet of Fury

You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. It’ll become a part of you

So very evil. So very, very funny…

LOCKLEAR: My name is Rhonda Locklear. I’m from Pembroke, and I’m a member of the Lumbee tribe of North Carolina.

PAT: Did you get that? She’s a member of the Lumbee tribe of North Carolina.

GLENN [BECK]: I love the Lumbee tribe.

LOCKLEAR: Jacob, my oldest, is a transfer student to UNC Pembroke and Isaac is in the eighth grade at Pembroke middle school. Like most families across the state who either don’t have access to high speed Internet or who can’t afford it, we were stuck with dial up service. (…)

PAT: You want to hear the rest?

GLENN: Yes, go ahead.

PAT: It’s good. It will get even more horrific.

LOCKLEAR: Because he cannot move around on the Web like he likes.

GLENN: No, not like he likes.

STU: He likes to go around on the Web quickly and he could not do that.

PAT: He could not surf the porn sites that he likes to surf.

LOCKLEAR: Seemingly easy assignments took him hours to complete.

GLENN: Hours.

STU: Pictures of Megan Fox took him hours to download.

PAT: One naked lady took him an hour and a half to have it load on the Web.

GLENN: I don’t think this is necessary.

LOCKLEAR: It is hard to watch. Isaac got very upset.

PAT: When all he could see was her forehead.

GLENN: Hang on just a second.

PAT: And he was waiting and waiting for the chestal area to appear…