5 Feet of Fury

Gagging my gag reflex

I’ll live to regret any jokes I might make (ohgodtheyareteemingthroughmybrainasItypethis) about this “expert’s” suggestion that Somebody(tm) redesign the hotdog because it poses a choking hazard.

I also shall not:

I’ll quote a reader’s wife instead, to, you know, be on the safe side…

If someone wants to create a — what? — flat, square hotdog for the kiddies, then go ahead and do it. Parents will buy them up. Fantastic expansion opportunity for Oscar Meyer.

But, if you go the route of banning the shape of hotdogs, you know some jerk will be suing a school picnic organization or harassing street-meat vendors.

Here is an idea: if you are that concerned about children’s health, perhaps you shouldn’t be feeding them processed rat assholes (or whatever hotdogs are made of) in the first place.