‘Bush still causing job losses and hardship’

Dozens of local area workers were left jobless yesterday as the doors closed on their workplace after more than nine years of frisky business.

Devastated staff at the “I Hate Bush T-Shirt and Vendor Wear” factory wept as the moment they were dreading finally became a reality: the firm went into bankruptcy in result of sagging orders for their goods and slim prospects for a renewed demand in the future. (…)

But there also were dissenters. “Not to let Bush off the hook, but I also blame capitalist markets,” said Keith Matthews, a marketing expert and multiple winner of the factory’s prestigious “Malcontent of the Month” award. “Why must our lives depend on demand for our products? In a normal, centrally-planned, government-subsidized economy, we would be making ‘I Hate Bush’ shirts for many years until we retire, and then our children would continue our work, without any changes in design or technology, with guaranteed employment for generations to come. That’s why I’m so disappointed in Obama. If he keeps letting us down, in the next election I’ll vote for Nader.”