5 Feet of Fury

Barack Obama sex toy. Yes, I said “Barack Obama sex toy”.

“Is it true what they say about how you people are… gifted…?”

Look, I just report the news…

Jello Biafra’s anarchist record label Alternative Tentacles is selling a “Barack Obama Dildo” in two colors: Democratic Blue and Presidential Gold.

According to the site, “the tag line on the dildo’s box is ‘You Love Your Candidate — Let Him Love You Back!’ and ‘I Want A Big O!'”

It is 7 1/2″ long and about 2″ wide (yikes!!) and — you guessed it — made in San Francisco. “Ready to use, no batteries required!”

And “Brand New!” — well, that’s a relief.

Strictly speaking, the Barack Obama Dildo is NOT “anatomically correct”. After all, he IS wearing a flag pin…