5 Feet of Fury

I’m not bitter or anything

I wrote stuff like this years ago…sigh.

John Zmirak writes:

I’ll tell you how to build a Catholic Bullshit Generator from ordinary items you’ll find around the house.

All the moving parts are ordinary words, wrenched out of context and used to suit your polemical purpose. When arguing with someone, be sure to use the following terms at regular intervals in your sentences (don’t worry about the grammar): Voiceless. Afflicted. Disadvantaged. Marginalized. Pastoral. Handicapped. Diverse.  Needy. Displaced.

(…)

Conversely, if you need to attack someone or something, employ any or all of these pejoratives: Comfortable. Bourgeois. Secure. Smug. Materialistic. Consumerist. Careerist. Racist. Xenophobic. Suburban. Hence a family where both parents work to pay Catholic school tuition so their kids won’t get stabbed by members of Mexican gangs at Martin Luther King Elementary School are really “middle-class suburbanites whose racist attitudes are centered on a fear of diversity.”