5 Feet of Fury

NOW with exclusive photo! Ed Anger blames Hudson River plane crash on “damn dirty foreign terrorist” geese

Now ladies and gentlemen, I still remember the good old days when geese flew south for the winter. What in blazes were they doing up north in the middle of January?

Well, do-gooders feed those damn geese in the park, that’s what! It’s downright unnatural. If those do-gooders hadn’t fed the geese, they would’ve flown down South like the Good Lord meant them too, and crashed some commie Cuban airplane instead of one of ours.

Now, I don’t care much for that weirdo mayor they’ve got in the Big Apple. But seeing as he loves banning everything, he should ban feeding geese in Central Park. It’s bad enough the damn dirty things crap Tootsie Roll turds all over the place. Now they’re crashing planes like the terrorist foreigners they are!

(Thanks to the loyal 5FF reader who snapped that pic!)