5 Feet of Fury

‘Ph.D. Ape Helps Right Wing Pundits’

“Right wing pundits and commentators are forced to question their role in the new administration and a newly aligned nation. I feel they still play an important role. This seminar aims at teaching these guys how best to adapt within a changing political climate, not just professionally but emotionally.”

PhD Ape thinks this is especially important for Mr. O’Reilly.  It is rumored that he had his tear ducts removed in the mid-90s to prevent any display of ‘womanly emotions’.

Weekly World News was unable to find anyone willing to verify this on record.