5 Feet of Fury

“Let us not talk falsely now”

Joshua Trevino writes:

Today, a conclave took place at the Stanley, Virginia, home of Brent Bozell III. Conservative movement luminaries of all sorts gathered. (…) Shortly thereafter, I and several dozen other lesser lights of the movement received an e-mail:

CONSERVATIVE LEADERS MEETING IN STANLEY, VA TO HOLD TELENEWSCONFERNCE AT 4:15.
Call in details follow.

We dutifully called in. We waited and chatted a bit on the line, as Bozell and his august house guests roused themselves to join us. Presently, someone decided to place a call on an open line, connected to ours, and we heard the line begin to ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. “Could you mute your lines?” asked the moderator. Everyone did except the unattended, infinitely ringing line. Ring. Ring. Ring. “I hear ringing,” chimed in several voices. “You need to disconnect everyone and have us all call back in,” I said. “Mr Bozell is coming,” said the moderator. Ring. Ring. Ring. Mr Bozell arrived.

“Hi every-”
Ring.
“This is Brent Boz-”
Ring.
“I’m joined by Grover Norq-”
Ring.
“We’re going to fight for conserva-”
Ring.

Thus, for tedious, ringing minutes. The ringing was shortly joined by intermittent clicking, as listeners dropped off the incomprehensible call.

“Our movement is stronger than ev-”
Ring.
“So we call on all conserv-”
Ring.

The last click I heard was my own. It is unfair to see a metaphor in this, but I will. Until we exercise power with the same alacrity and skill with which we acquire it, the conservative movement is this: a useless gathering of old men. We who know better cannot therefore blame those who flock to the vapid appeal of the likes of Barack Obama. If I did not know better, I would too. But I do, and so I struggle to not despair.