5 Feet of Fury

And now: lingerie. (And Obama…)

If these links aren’t safe for work, you should have planned your career a little better.

First — Knickers knicked in lingerie heist. Pix posted to help nab the panty snatchers. Or whatever.

Second — Lingerie Football League. Fantasy is right (if you’re, uh, weird):

Oh, and here’s the Obama part:

If I were a Democrat, I’d salute Harry S. Truman, the Missouri haberdasher who … whoa, “haberdasher”!

There’s a word you don’t hear too much nowadays, and, if you did, it’d probably be because the treasury secretary and the chairman of the House Financial Services Committee are on cable TV, standing on the steps of the Capitol announcing a 700 gazillion-dollar bipartisan haberdashery bailout package because the global haberdashery sector is too big to fail, and if we don’t act now there’ll be a massive planetary ripple effect that could take down ladies’ lingerie, if you’ll pardon the expression.

(…)

The day after the most-recent debate I bumped into two Obama supporters in St Johnsbury, Vt. They said isn’t it great that he’s on course to win. Well, they were cute chicks, and I know an obvious pick-up line when I hear one, so I stopped to chat.

God Almighty, it was like reverse Viagra: After 10 minutes of Babes For Barack, I never want to meet a female woman of the opposite sex for the rest of my life…