5 Feet of Fury

That Barack Obama is a some kind of mo-fo genius

So Obama knows he’s got to pick up Ohio, a “battleground” state. He decides he’d better show up there in person.

Now: there are hundreds of places in Ohio he could choose from.

But remember his mission: reassure voters that he’s a GenXer who wants to move beyond old fashioned politics and NOT a far-left radical with ties to 1960s hippies and troublemakers and all that bad stuff everybody just wants to forget (except for nostalgic boomers who were gonna vote for him anyway.)

So: where to visit? Where… to… visit?

Of all the hundreds of places Obama could have touched down in Ohio, guess where he finally went?

Aw come on, sure you can.

He visited…

KENT STATE!

That’s right — Kent “A Byword for Vietnam Era Tragedy and Violence and Out of Control Radicals” State.

Dude, there’s a whole frickin’ SONG about it and everything!

Man, Tycho Brahe had better optics.

FAIL!