5 Feet of Fury

Is this a convention or a table reading for “Freaks”?

I can’t be the only one sick of hearing speech after speech out of the DNC, regaling America with cringe-inducing anecdotes about one-armed, one-legged, dying, dirt poor pathetic losers.

The story of the chemo woman with “Hillary” painted on her bald head put me over the top.

Dear Dems: I know you’re trying to sound “compassionate” but you’ll be sorry. Liberals are notoriously poor scholars of human nature, because human nature is, at bottom, an ugly, twisted, fallen thing. And liberals dream of living in a candy coloured fantasy land of smiling unicorns and rainbows.

And human nature is this: nobody, not even a loser, really wants to belong to the Party of Losers and Misfits and Nobodies.

They want to be around Somebodies, because Nobodies, they fear, are contagious.

This is a harsh, cruel truth. I’m not saying it is laudable. If you dare to examine your heart of hearts, you know it’s true.

I’m getting sarcastic emails (and hearing similar comments on radio and around the web) saying: “Gee, here I thought I was living in America. After listening to the speeches this week, I realized I’m living in Rwanda and didn’t even know it! Thank you, Democrats, for telling me what a pathetic failure of a nation I call home!”

My worry is that America has finally reached the Loser Tipping Point. That there are now more Jerry Springer contestants in the country than Jerry Springers, more Oprah viewers than Oprahs, more looters and lootees and losers and leeches than principled, disciplined, hardworking citizens.

It’s a bit like the famous diagrams about the collapse of Social Security: there is now only one patriot supporting 30 parasites — the inverse of what used to be.