5 Feet of Fury

DemCon, day one: my latest for FrontPage

Lord, what a nightmare. One down, three to go…

The rafters of the Denver Pepsi Center are laden with biodegradable balloons; organic catered meals simmer over soy-fueled chafing dishes (no fried food allowed); and the podium is bathed in spotlights of magenta and baby blue.

Let the 2008 Democratic National Committee Convention begin.

The show didn’t really start until late in the evening, with a roster of speakers that included Michelle Obama, Jesse Jackson Jr., and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, along with video tributes to former President Jimmy Carter and Senator Edward Kennedy.

That left the assembled reporters with little to actually report throughout the morning and afternoon. One of the National Journal’s torrent of convention email updates conveyed the welcome news that the Pepsi Center practices “potty parity” – so no more long lines outside those ladies rooms.

On a related note, another dispatch advised delegates (and not a few of their fellow journalists, no doubt) that the human body metabolizes alcohol more slowly up in Colorado’s otherwise intoxicating heights, so getting drunk might take a little longer than usual.

Popular humorist James Lileks live blogged the convention’s opening day as best he could. He watched “Katie Couric pick stuff out of her teeth” while people took cell phone pictures of Chris Matthews talking on a cell phone. Not to be outdone, Lileks gamely “took cell phone pictures of the people who took the pictures of Matthews.”