5 Feet of Fury

If “Jamaica is the world’s best country”, why don’t you move back there? Please!

The worse thing about the combination of a) big international sporting events and b) having a real job in Toronto means you have to put up with former foreigners from otherwise pathetic loser nations, cheering for their “home” teams instead of Canada, often in a rude, loud and very public way.

This dispatch from Mitchieville could be multiplied thousands of times over, in offices across what we laughingly call our “country”.

Of course, the guy is Jamaican, a refugee from the country that brought us the polio vaccine, the communications satellite and those pine tree thingies you hang from your rear view mirror…

Today at lunch was no different in the yakking about medals, sports heroes, and events. But the conversation was uniquely Canadian, about Canadian medals, Canadian sports heroes, and Canadian events. There was some dissonance, from one of our hyphenated Canadians. He only wanted to talk about the impressive triple victory of Jamaica. As you can imagine, in a room of education industry types, this cheering for a team other than there own, was met with polite Canadian politeness.

‘Fuck Canada,‘ said the ‘Jamaica is the worlds best country’ fan. This got my attention.

The silence was thick and cold. But, it remained silence, broken only by Jamaica fans laughter as he initiated eye contact with his opponents who had been cheering for Canada. They hid behind their soup and salad, and averted their eyes to the Toronto Star.