5 Feet of Fury

Actual TV show: Muslim moustache association praises Hitler

Interviewer: “Do you respect all types of moustaches – regardless of their size, length, or width?”

Allam Muhammad Abdel Al-Halim: “Of course.”

Interviewer: “Even Hitler’s moustache?”

Captain Sayyed Shahada: “By the way, I respect the moustache of this Hitler, because he humiliated the most despicable sect in the world. He subdued the people who subdued the whole world – him with his ’11’ moustache. By the way, that kind of moustache is called ’11.’ The generation of this Hitler… When I was little, my father, may he rest in peace, grew that kind of moustache, and so did all his classmates. They all had this ’11’ moustache. That was in the days of Hitler… My father… ”

Interviewer: “That was the fashion back then.”

Captain Sayyed Shahada: “Exactly. I should know – my father was a barber.”

[…]

Fathi Ahmad Mahmoud “Moustache”: “We have different styles. One style is ‘the Douglas.’ Then there’s ‘the Pretzel,’ which is rolled like this… The ‘Two Swords’ style stands up like that… The ‘Mafroud’ is flat like a ruler. Another style is the ‘Carter,’ which comes out from here and is very wide.”