5 Feet of Fury

PJ O’Rourke delivers greatest speech since Gettysburg Address

2. Don’t be an idealist!

Don’t chain yourself to a redwood tree. Instead, be a corporate lawyer and make $500,000 a year. No matter how much you cheat the IRS, you’ll still end up paying $100,000 in property, sales and excise taxes. That’s $100,000 to schools, sewers, roads, firefighters and police. You’ll be doing good for society. Does chaining yourself to a redwood tree do society $100,000 worth of good?

Idealists are also bullies…

3. Get politically uninvolved!

All politics stink. Even democracy stinks…

4. Forget about fairness!

5. Be a religious extremist!

The Bible is very clear about one thing: Using politics to create fairness is a sin.