5 Feet of Fury

And the sheep run scared!

Got this email on Friday:

Ontario Sheep Marketing Agency
130 Malcolm Rd., Guelph, ON N1K 1B1
Telephone: (519) 836-0043
Fax : (519) 836-2531
E-mail: general@ontariosheep.org

April 18, 2008

The Honourable Kathleen Wynne Minister of Education
Ministry of Education
Mowat Block
Queen’s Park
Toronto ON M7A 112
Telephone (416) 325-2600
Facsimile (416) 325-2608

Dear Ms. Wynne,

Mr. Ken O’Day Chairman of Renfrew County Family Action Council alerted us to your newest initiative of training Ontario children on issues of homosexuality namely “Jer’s Vision: Canada’s Youth Diversity Initiative” .

It is out humble opinion that your program however very commendable does not go far enough as it totally ignores issue of zoophobia and totally unfounded fear of bestiality in Ontario schools and leaves issues of harassment of youth attracted to farm animals as objects of their sexual preferences totally unaddressed.

This is very serious issue in rural Ontario that urgently needs to be addressed. As you know homosexuality is a rare phenomenon in rural Ontario and homophobia rarely if ever becomes an issue in rural schools.

Zoophilia and bestiality on the other hand are much more common in rural Ontario and zoophobia in rural schools is a very serious problem that when not properly addressed can be as devastating as homophobia is in urban schools.

Anecdotal evidence abounds of young boys being ostracised at school after they were spotted having sex with farm animals (mostly sheep). In many cases harassment of zoophiles is so intense that it drives boys to commit suicides.

Zoophobia needs to be stopped so our youth can live productive lives without fear of discrimination based on sexual orientation.

We the Directors of Ontario Sheep Marketing Agency would like to join forces with you and offer our stock of sheep as live props for the purpose of sexual education of Ontario boys.

Our sheep will get proper sexual stimulation; Ontario boys will learn safe sex practices and learn how to obtain sexual gratification without resorting to sexual harassment of Ontario girls.

We anticipate that such initiative when properly funded and executed will result in a huge boost to rural Ontario economy as we envision that you would include in our program urban youth as well and bus them to designated farms.

We anticipate that as a result of our initiative incidents of sexual harassment of girls in Ontario school system will drop dramatically, incidents of STD transmission will also go down, zoophobia in rural schools across Ontario will become the thing of the past and sales of cowboy boots will get a significant boost all across the province.

We anticipate that in initial stages of this program we would offer services of our sheep free of charge but as this program expands we would expect that at least some of our sheep would start to earn some additional income by being hired by local school boards in positions of teacher’s aids/assistants.

We hope that you will find our initiative acceptable. Please contact us at your convenience to discuss details of our initiative.

Sincerely,
Ontario Sheep Marketing Agency