Are you “experiential”?

“Altogether, the 11 organizations will receive $1,583,532 million in funding under the Women’s Community Fund of the Women’s Program of Status of Women Canada.

* $195,569 to the Canadian National Coalition of Experiential Women, based in Victoria, for its project entitled BC’s Sex Workers and Sexually Exploited Youth: Escaping Violence, Addictions and Economic Danger;

* $118,000 to the Prostitution Alternatives Counselling and Education Society (PACE), based in Vancouver, for its project entitled BELLE (Beautiful Experiential Life-link to Empowerment)

Or maybe you’re an “elder” (I see that’s this week’s replacement for the admittedly unweildy “senior citizen”, but unless you’re an extra in Little Big Man it sounds retarded.)

And if you’re an “elder experiential” — or is it “experiential elder”? Uh, can you stand waaaaay over there and just not talk to me? Thanks.

Speaking of which: I see some people still actually have AIDS! At least they do if there’s government grant money to be had. All the straight women in North America with AIDS could comfortably hold a Tupperwear party in my livingroom (trading tips on the best containers for all their pills…)

Oh and how can aboriginal women be “homeless”? They get free homes and free college tuition (which they never use) and don’t pay taxes. I wish I was that kinda homeless.

Next time your kid swallows poison, crack open this quote and read it aloud to induce vomiting:

“Our project will support these women in building positive social networks, enhancing existing skills and developing new ones, and in establishing constructive lifestyles — and we’ll do it, in part, by empowering the women through outreach, training and nurturing them in sharing their stories.”

I wanna hear more about “enhancing the existing skills” of those “experiential” women, don’t you? Maybe our pal Mosley can get a new job in that line.

Speaking of which, who else has been humming (and that’s no mean feat) Elvis Costello’s “Less Than Zero” since yesterday afternoon?