5 Feet of Fury

First thing we do, we give all the lawyers spell check

UPDATE: A reader writes:

“Re ‘law is cool’ blog. Isn’t there some warning acronym that can be used, say ‘NSFN’ (not safe for neurons) when linking to such sitesI think my IQ went down half a standard deviation just reading that post.  Then I hit ‘this entry has contributions from multiple authors’ at the bottom of the entry.

“Sweet zombie Jesus, that was a group effort??”

As I explained to my emailer, at least one participant in this pathetic “group effort” is, in fact, one of the very students who’ve brought the complaint against Steyn & Co.

And as we know from previous experience, it often takes a whole bunch of Muslims to even begin to criticize just one of our guys, and even that rarely ends well

The raving ranting Muslims are inevitably intellectually outgunned in short order, and quickly resort to murderous, spittle-spewing rage.

Here again we witness the same misunderstanding of even the easiest English words, not to mention a shocking, stubborn ignorance of basic Western concepts like “freedom”, “tolerance” and, well, quotation marks.

And again with the bad spelling and grammar.

It’s like the way they had to steal our own airplanes to crash them into buildings they’d never have the brains to build themselves.

Can someone tell me if Canadian law schools use affirmative action or have racial quotas to fill?

When folks talk about the scariest movie they ever saw, they usually say The Exorcist or The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. For me, it was The Paper Chase.  I watched it as a teenager and it was one of the things that put me off going to university. No matter what my teachers told me, I convinced myself I would never survive in such a rigorous atmosphere — let alone be able to sprint from one class to another at the other end of the campus with only 5 minutes to do so.

The more these Muslim law students reveal of their own arrogant stupidity, the more I realize what a mistake I made. Obviously, I could have whipped little scrubs like this to shreds — and been making a hell of a lot more money by now…

***

Mark Steyn’s “typically snubbing manner”?, eh?

Hmmm, shouldn’t questionable grammar be illegal, too? (After all, it “offends” me and may even inspire me to commit a “hate crime” myself one of these days.) Ya gotta love that mysterious free floating “they”.

What about poor spelling, like “blatent”? “Querries”?

How about getting your facts wrong, like stating that the “Free Mark Steyn” blog was started by Mark Steyn when it wasn’t? In fact, a five-second google reveals it to be the brainchild of the intrepid “binkie”.

Worse, stating that “Muslims are the biggest victims of hate crimes today.”

When in fact they are the biggest perps of fake hate crimes today.

Luckily for us all, non-lawyers were availabe to, you know, actually check the FBI data:

Anti-Black 3,136
Anti-Jewish 1,027
Anti-White 1,008
Anti-Male Homosexual 881
Anti-Hispanic 770
Anti-Female Homosexual 192
Anti-Islamic 191

Now, here on Planet Normal, when something is at the bottom of a list, that means it is the smallest thing on the list. But I don’t have a law degree so I obviously don’t know what the hell I’m on about.

Cliche watch: ignorance of the law is indeed no excuse. However, contempt for ridiculous, fascistic laws is a noble tradition.

Steyn isn’t ignorant. He is contemptuous and rightly so.

“Hate crime” laws are stupid and need to be protested. Hate is a feeling and feelings can’t be crimes (unless you’re one of the twisted liberals at blogs like these).

And note the pedantic, snooty little side trip to define “slander”. No, you morons: Steyn is asking aloud whether speaking in a “typically snubbing manner” (whatever that is) will one day be actionable too, if twits like you get to rule the nation. He’s not wondering whether or not you slandered him.

God, the nimble minds at work here.

Aren’t you glad these guys will one day be helping you sell your home and divorce your wife and get outta jail?

Oh, then they say it is just “matter of time” before some hatemonger attributes his violent actions to Steyn’s words.

Look out! Some purely imaginary asshole from the unknowable Philip K. Dick future may shirk responsibility for his crimes and blame Steyn, or Twinkies.

(Oh wait, that was the past, and it really happened. Know why? A lawyer thought up the Twinkie defence and a crazy guy got 5 years in jail for killing two politicians. Another highlight in humanity’s moral evolution, brought to you by… a lawyer.)

But no matter: Let’s harrass Mark Steyn rather than just laughing at the (imaginary) killer (of the imaginary future) then locking him up. In Future Jail. Unless he ate Twinkies.

Welcome to the Magical Land of Upside Down inhabited by attorneys and other brainwashed Establishment dorks. That they presume to pronounce upon important matters when they’re too lazy and stupid to get their facts or even their words right tells you all you need to know.