“I went to the garage and beat myself ritually with the garden hose in penance that I would once more be worthy of His one true Romneyhood.
“And of course in all but the most jaded, iconoclastic or stupid eyes, he carried it off magnificently.
“Here’s the objective measure: When was the last time that Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Michael Medved, Fred Barnes, Charles Krauthammer and me all focused on the same subject and all agreed on the merits? It is literally impossible to imagine a more wildly diversified group of 50-something Republican pundits. (…)
Rush Limbaugh: “Pretty good speech. I think it will help him.”
Sean Hannity: “I didn’t see it myself, but Lee Greenwood told me it was nice.”
Michael Medved: “I think it probably helps Romney with Evangelicals.”
Fred Barnes: “I’d venture Romney will probably pick up 2 to 4 points in the next Iowa poll.”
Charles Krauthammer: “He certainly didn’t hurt himself.”
Me: “As the magnificence of His words burst forth, I fell to my very knees and wept with utter overwhelming joy; not just for me, but for the entire human race.”
“There you have it: every single pundit whose voice actually matters has joined me in being swept into the rapturous epiphany that any unbiased, objective review of Romney’s unforgettable words will induce. I will give a more detailed objective review of The Speech in next month’s issue of Mitt Beat magazine, along with an exclusive interview with Mitt where he reveals his favorite foods, secret heartbreaks, and what he looks for in a dream pundit. Plus a giant pull-out Mitt poster!”
***
I’m a regular Hewitt listener, and maybe you have to be to really “get” this post.
And as a regular Hewitt listener, I confess to being previously unaware of Hewitt’s alleged “alpha male swagger.” I say that as a great admirer, to put it mildly (and printably) of alpha male swagger.
Frankly, even when Hewitt goes dom on some doofus liberal guest (complete with rhetorical ball gags), I still can’t shake the fact that he looks like the kid from A Christmas Story.
