Please tell me they’re gonna pour a bucket of it onto his coffin

Gatorade inventor and world’s last useful college professor dies.

Thank God he worked for Florida and not UC Santa Cruz, or we’d all be drinking BananaSlugHelper.

In lieu of flowers, the family requests that you go around slapping each other’s butts for five minutes.

UPDATE: damn you, David Janes — he writes:

“You mean it’s a good thing that he worked for University of Flordia (football team: the Gators) than for Florida State (football team: the Seminoles) because then it would have be called Seminolefluid.”