5 Feet of Fury

If Roger Kimball will hire a chick like this, he should make me Editor in Chief

Jennifer Oh, assistant to the editor at the New Criterion, describes herself in a recent Craigslist post as a “writer, [who works for] a respected magazine, and would be happy to share with you my various lists of awards, accomplishments, etc.”

(…) “I’m very picky but very, very insatiable and passionate when aroused. My ass and legs look hot in jeans as well as slutty skirts or feminine dresses. Full lips, great breasts, adorable pretty face, and a intelligent, sensual, and also highly affectionate sex appeal that you will love.”

Hey, Rog, I too am more than capable of writing about “pussy”, “incest” and “sadistic punishment”. So where’s my conservative mag job at?

True, there are no photos on the web of me doing topless tae kwon do (You wish, losers!) If I squeeze into (and out of) a Merry Widow and post the pix on YouPorn, will Rich Lowry let me fetch his latte? What if I promise not to?

Because, alas, I wasn’t “born in 1981” — how the **** is that even possible?

Jennifer’s “last boyfriend was 50 years old.” I am so saying absolutely nothing.

PS: the New Criterion‘s office manager is named “Cricket Farnsworth”. Either that or Tom Wolfe’s hacked the masthead. As usual…