5 Feet of Fury

Richard Warman: They don’t call them “progressive” slot machines for nuthin’

What does he think he is, an American or sumthin?

Serial complainer and all around Mr. Poopyhead Richard Warman is suing FreeDominion.ca for $150,000 because some commenters on the site called him a “Nazi” or something.

If I sued everybody online who called me a “Nazi,” Canadian Cynic, Dr. Dawg and their tiny band of dickless wonders would all be huddled around an alleyway bonfire, warming up their last dented tin of Habitant pea soup.

Warman’s complaint says FreeDominion.ca is “responsible for postings defamatory to the Plaintiff.” But remember: these postings were made in FD’s comments sections, by people with no direct connection to the site. I’ve said from the beginning that it would be better if people didn’t use other people’s comments sections to mouth off, thereby getting their hosts in trouble. But it is obviously too late in this case.

I’ve posted these complaints before but they are so hilarious I’m doing it again:

14. The Posting in question contains serious allegations against the Plaintiff, clearly stating, in its plain and ordinary meaning or by virtue of surrounding circumstances which give the words a defamatory meaning inferentially or by innuendo that:

a. The Plaintiff is the Censorship Champion;
b. The Plaintiff is a fanatic and so obnoxious that even his fellow fanatical colleagues at the Canadian Human Rights Commission couldn’t stand him.

(…)

28. The Posting in question contained serious allegations against the Plaintiff, clearly stating, in its plain and ordinary meaning or by virtue of surrounding circumstances which give the words a defamatory meaning inferentially or by innuendo that:

a. The Plaintiff a censor, enemy of freedom, and anti-free speech campaigner;

b. The Plaintiff is a nasty piece of work;

c. The Plaintiff laughs at individuals with depression/mental illness who consider committing suicide;

d. The Plaintiff is a member of Canada’s Soviet thought police and a thought control freak.

I honestly don’t see how you can sue for being called a “serial complainer” when you are clearly, you know, a serial complainer.

Or deny that “The Plaintiff desires to control everyone and to use unlimited public resources to do so.”

Or deny that “The Plaintiff is seeking to use the law to silence, suppress, and censor others.”

This is right up there with Oscar Wilde “posing as a sodomite”. “Posing,” Marquis?

Plaintiff is a poster child of everything that is wrong with Canada”? Sure, why not?

“Plaintiff was part of a group of unwashed hippies who threw a pie at David Icke”? That I can’t help you with…

Connie of FD came back on later and wrote:

“By the way, what is posted above is not the full document… we will be adding more at the day progresses.

“The FD posting box won’t process 60 pages of material.

“Still to come is the offer to settle where he says he is prepared to let us off the hook for the paltry sum of $10,900.

“The words ‘bite me’ come to mind.”

Don’t expect to read one little post about this major issue and threat to the blogosphere on the big boys’ Canadian “conservative” blogs, not even the ones run by lawyers. Don’t you know it’s Grey Cup weekend, dude?

UPDATE:

No sooner had I finished this post this morning than someone emailed me with the news that Hurt Feelings Warman had just been awarded $30,000 in yet another lawsuit.