5 Feet of Fury

I’m so right, it’s scary

A readers writes in re: sluts & nuts…

My [relative’s status redacted] kids have a nut allergy. So [she] has had nutz banned from the school in town and is trying to get all of the local businesses to go nut free as well. At one point we were looking at buying the local sandwich/soup outfit and I was seriously considering renaming it ‘Nutz 2 You’ and going with a peanut oriented bakery. That and I was going to vent ‘essence of peanut’ out the windows on schooldays just to piss the beyotch off.

Same [relative] also had a local playground upgraded because the old equipment was ‘too dangerous’ (I suspect that’s a code phrase for saying the kids might have actually had FUN there). Well, now the new equipment is VERY safe and very BORING. The kids in town don’t play there now. They run around the abandoned lots and play among old tractors and rusting spools of barbed wire instead.

But the main point about this Peanut Crusader? Guess who has the two sluttiest dressed kids in school?